Talks and lies
by Lo613
Summary: A slip of the tongue by the Doctor leads to a deeper conversation.


**In order to satisfy your hunger of angsty Doctor Who stories, I present this to you. Enjoy! Disclaimer- If I owned Doctor Who, I would put it on more than one channel, so that people who can't watch BBC don't have to wait eight months before seeing the new season.**

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" What're you doing?"

Silence.

" Doctor?"

The Doctor inhaled sharply and glanced up from the TARDIS controls, meeting Rose's steady gaze with his own slightly wild one.

" Ah, yes, Rose! I'm sorry, what were you saying?" He asked, grinning. Rose smiled back at him.

" I asked you what you were doing" She restated. The Doctor shrugged some in response.

" Not much, really. Just fixing up the TARDIS some."

Rose looked at what the Doctor was talking about, noticing the mess of tangled wore underneath the console.

" Don't look like you're having too much luck there." She noted. The Doctor ran a hand through his hair sheepishly.

" Well...Im a bit distracted. You know, thinking."

Rose arched an eyebrow and leaned against the ships controls.

" What are you thinking about?" She inquired.

" Oh, just stuff." The Doctor replied, his smile lessening, sliding right off his face.

" What sort of stuff?" Asked Rose, noticing the apparent change that had overcome her friend.

" It's nothing, Rose. Really." Said the Doctor.

"...You know you can talk to me about anything, right, Doctor?" Rose said, frowning slightly.

The Doctor studied Rose closely. He could? He- she was fine with him talking to her about things? Really, actually talking with her? Would he allow himself?

" I'm homesick." Someone said. Who was it? It took the look of concern on Rose's face, paired with a short amount of time for the Doctor to realize that it had been _him_ who had spoken those words. Apparently he _was_ allowing himself, conscious of this decision or not. Well then. Saying things without his own conscious consent. He hadn't thought about that possibility. It was new, unexpected. He'd discovered another quirk of his new body; Not always thinking before he spoke.

" You're...homesick?" Asked Rose, interrupting the Doctors train of thought. The Time Lord leaned against the console, glaring at the ground.

" No. I'm not." He paused. " What I said was nothing. Just ignore it."

Rose studied the Doctor for a moment before replying.

" You don't have to lie to me." She stated.

Silence.

" Right." Said the Doctor, his voice so quiet that Rose had to strain to make it out. " I...I suppose I don't." He cleared his throat some. " Yeah. I know it's stupid, but yeah. I'm homesick." He admitted, his face reddening with every word. "...I miss Gallifrey. So much..."

" That's not stupid, Doctor. Anything but." Rose assured, scooting closer to her friend and wrapping an arm around him. It took a moment, but the Doctor relaxed in her hold, burying his face in his hands.

" It's just-" He stared. " I want to go home _so badly. _I want to see the orange sky, and red trees, and silver trees, and the city and everything else, but I _can't_ I can't ever see it again. I mean. Gallifrey was my home and it's just gone, and I can't wrap my head around it. I can't _accept it."_

Rose pulled the Doctor closer, not knowing quite what to say. Suddenly the Doctor looked up at her, his face conveying a sense of being lost, screaming that he wants somebody, _anybody_, to understand what he's feeling.

" Think of it this way." He began, his voice surprisingly steady. " It's- has there ever been anything you really wanted? Like really, really wanted."

Rose nodded.

"...My dad." She answered. The Doctors face changed, mouth falling open somewhat. For a moment he looks as if he's about to apologize for inadvertently bring about the subject of her father, but then thinks better of it.

" Of course. And...it's like you want to see him, meet him, _so much."_

Rose nods again.

" Yeah. Always." She confirmed without so much as a second thought on the matter.

" And you know that you _never can." _The Doctor said, his voice strained by now. Stained and thick with emotion.

"...Yeah." Rose replied softly.

" It's like-" The Time Lord suddenly stopped and averted his gaze back to his feet. " Nevermind." He mumbled. " 's not important." He glanced back at Rose, eyes dark and conflicted. " I miss them." He muttered, evidently dismissing what he had just said. " And it's like there's this emptiness because of it." His voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. " It hurts, Rose. It hurts knowing that I remember them, that I knew them, and now they're. Part of my life for over 900 years. And now they're all just...gone."

Rose knit her eyebrows together, watching the Doctor.

" Are you okay?" She asked, despite already knowing the answer that he would say. The lie that would come out of his mouth.

The Doctor popped off of the console and turned back to it, fiddling with controls.

" Of course I'm okay. I'm always okay." He responded. "...Anywho, how do you fancy a quick trip back to London? You could visit your mum?" He offered.

Rose looked slightly skeptical of the Doctors reply, letting him know that she wasn't falling for it, but hummed her agreement either way.

" Yeah, that'd be great. You know, if you can handle the domestics and such." She answered, an exceedingly light note of humor in her voice.

She watched the Time Lord as he worded his way around the TARDIS console. His perfect mask had finally cracked today.

It was only a matter of time before it shattered completely.

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**And done. Hope you liked it! If you feel so kind as to leave a review in that friendly little box below, I would be overthrilled. Also, this will probably extend one or two more chapters, not sure how many, but updates will be spontanious and irregular. Keep being the great person you are, have a fantastic day, and DFTBA!**


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